5 REASONS WHY ASSERTIVENES IS THE KEY TO WIN-WIN COMMUNICATION
Assertiveness is a valuable skill that can lead to successful communication and conflict resolution. When we communicate in a way that respects both ourselves and others, we can arrive at a solution much more easily and quickly. It is important to note that assertiveness is not the same as aggression, which disregards the rights of others, nor is it the same as passivity, which neglects our own rights. Rather, assertiveness is the middle ground between these two extremes. Here are five reasons why assertiveness is the key to win-win communication:
- Fewer conflicts and arguments: Assertiveness helps to prevent conflicts and arguments by allowing us to communicate our needs, wants, feelings, beliefs, and opinions in a direct and honest manner, without intentionally hurting anyone’s feelings. It also encourages active listening and open-mindedness, which can help to avoid misunderstandings.
- Stronger relationships: Assertiveness can strengthen relationships by promoting mutual respect and understanding. When we communicate assertively, we show that we value the other person’s rights and feelings while also expressing our own. This can lead to greater trust and empathy, which are essential for building strong relationships.
- Improved self-esteem and confidence: When we communicate assertively, we feel more in control of our lives and more confident in our ability to express ourselves. This can lead to improved self-esteem and a greater sense of self-worth, which can positively impact all aspects of our lives.
- Better conflict resolution: Assertiveness is essential for effective conflict resolution. By communicating assertively, we can express our concerns and work collaboratively with others to find a mutually agreeable solution. This can lead to win/win outcomes that benefit everyone involved.
- More positive interactions: Finally, assertiveness can lead to more positive interactions with others. When we communicate assertively, we make others feel heard and valued, which can foster a sense of connection and mutual respect. As the saying goes, “They will not remember what you did, they will not remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel.” By making others feel important, we can create more positive and fulfilling relationships.
Tips for Developing Assertiveness:
Like any other skill, assertiveness takes time and practice to develop. Here are some strategies that can help:
- Broken record technique: If someone is ignoring our message or trying to distract us, the broken record technique is useful. Just like a broken record, we repeat our message as often as is necessary until it is heard!
- Empathy: Respect the wants, needs, and feelings of others and accept that their viewpoints may be different from yours.
- Self-disclosure: Own your own messages and feelings. Don’t hide what you think or believe behind phrases such as “Everybody knows” or “Most people.”
- Free information: Contributing information to the conversation – our job, hobbies, likes and dislikes, etc. – helps people get to know us and understand us.
Dealing with Criticism:
Assertiveness can also be useful when dealing with criticism. Here are some techniques to try:
- Fogging: Use this technique when you disagree with a criticism or feel it is unhelpful and don’t want to argue. Instead, acknowledge that the criticism may or may not be true and maintain your stance without defending or explaining yourself.
- Negative assertion: Use this technique when the criticism may be correct, but you do not want to involve yourself in a conversation about it, at least not at this time. Simply agree with it.
- Negative inquiry: Use this technique to find out more details about the criticism and decide if it is worth listening to or not. Keep asking for more specific information about it.
In all of your interactions with people, it’s important to keep in mind:
POINTS TO CONSIDER:
- Your actions may not be remembered
- Your words may not be remembered
- Your name may not be remembered
- However, people will remember how you made them feel
- Prioritise making others feel important