LOVE THY SELF

It all depends on how we look at things and not on how they are in themselves. - Carl G. Jung

It is our experience, that a good relationship starts with you. How do you have a relationship (in any form; be it friendship, colleague, or intimate partner) without losing yourself?

At the end of the day, our relationships may come and go, but 24/7 you are going to be with yourself. That is why it is important to commit to knowing and, yes, even loving yourself.

Are you taking care of yourself?

To be able to have a good and meaningful relationship with someone else, you must first have one with yourself. Below are some gold nuggets to respecting and being confident in who you are. You will find that when you are confident in yourself, you are able to deal with what other people throw your way much easier and be much more tolerant of others.

• Be kind to yourself.
• Your needs and desires are equally as important as anyone else’s.
• Being comfortable to be with just you is a good thing, as long as you have time socially with others as well.
• Know your own opinion on things, but don’t be frightened to ask advice from people you trust.
• It is one of the greatest things on earth to serve others, but don’t feel you must do this all the time.
• It is important to keep in touch with family and friends and let them know where you are and what you’re up to, but it is not necessary to tell them everything. Choose who you tell what to.
• Passion is one of the greatest states. Don’t let people talk you out of doing what you love.

When looking for friendship or intimate relationships, keep in mind that everyone has a different idea about what that may look like. There is no wrong or right answer here, it is just what is right for you. The things to keep in mind would be what is most important to you. Having those things in common with your friends and people who you associate with socially is a good starting point.  Remember to speak up…People are not always psychic!

People are all very individual, with different beliefs, values, experiences, families, and ways of relating to each other.

Letting your close friends know what is important to you, lets them know that you expect respect for these beliefs, values, standards, etc. It also indirectly gives them permission to share what is important to them as well. This will grow trust and respect between you so that you can share more with each other. You will see that this might mean you take the first step and come back to how you feel and see yourself, to have the confidence to do this.

You can not share clearly with someone else how you feel if you are not clear and consciously aware of it yourself. When you are feeling uncomfortable in a situation, spend a moment to ask yourself what it is that you are feeling uncomfortable about. This will allow you to be able to clearly convey to others about what is happening that makes you feel uncomfortable.

A great way to really get to know yourself is journaling. We have discussed journaling in earlier articles. Feel free to go back and have a look at our 4U2EXPLORE Journaling Workbook under ‘Resources’.

Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted  whenever I am contradicted. - Ralph Waldo Emerson