THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES

Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong. - Emma Watson

Sexuality has sparked much debate over the years.

Is it not fair to say that we are all, first and foremost, human beings? Human beings who all need:

• A sense of power over their lives.
• To feel safe and secure.
• The freedom to choose and make decisions.
• A conducive environment to have fun.
• A feeling of being loved, belonging, and able to share their love.

Both sexes are also able to feel, nurture, and express their love, while both are also able when needed to get into action and labour and be more task and fact-orientated.

A man who can show emotion and speak of how he feels is in balance with himself, not gay or woosy, and a woman who can speak her mind and can get the job done is action-driven and not aggressive.

When push comes to shove we can play the role that we need to play, but the question comes down to which serves our natural inclinations the most?

Having gone through the feminist movement and so many other social reforms, what have we learned? Are we better off?

In traditional times it has been viewed that a woman’s role is to be in the kitchen, tending house and bringing up the children, while the husband is out ‘hunting’ to bring money in or put food on the table, so to speak.

According to this mindset, each gender has established responsibilities in private and public life that the other one couldn’t take over, thus needing “the other half” for a fulfilled life.

Well, living in an era where women can vote, buy property, and have equal social standing is certainly a good thing in my opinion, but how quickly the pendulum can swing the other way, however.

Many of the male clients that I coach are feeling emasculated and unsure of their role and many women are feeling devalued and stressed due to the many roles in which they feel they have to play.

The truth of the matter is that males and females are different and different for a reason.

Don’t get me wrong, as far as choice and pursuit of career for example, and other ‘society’ labels, this is all fair and reasonable, but the genders are actually quite complementary when the balance and roles are further understood.

Simply focusing on the physiology of males and females - males, in general, are the physically stronger of the species, adding this to their general factual and sole-focus makeup, would suggest that physical labour (the hunter/gatherer mentality) is best suited to them.

Females having generally a smaller frame and ability to multi-task and organise things paired with a nurturing nature (I am of course speaking generally) would seem more suited to organising the household/community and children.

Now, that is not to say that men can’t do ‘women’s roles’ or women can’t do ‘men’s roles’, but sometimes we may need to look at whether the answer is simpler than it may first appear.

Women aren’t feeling valued, yet it was the feminist movement that led men away from “opening the door and standing when a lady joined them”. It was also a challenge to see that women could do all that a man could do, as well as something they couldn’t, i.e. childbirth. What was a man needed for other than to help with conception? In fact, many managerial, leadership, and team studies (community organisational structure of any kind) have demonstrated that with a man at the head of the house or organisation, (as a strict and defined role model) with a strong woman behind him (or as I like to think beside him) playing a key and integral role, that this is where we see a strong, productive balance (the movie ‘300’, about Spartan lifestyle, demonstrates this synergy perfectly).

It is our understanding that the basic difference between men and women is that men like to feel appreciated, whereas women need to feel understood. If women can give men the appreciation and affirmation that they are so longing for, and men can take the time to listen and hear what women are saying, then we might find we feel more self-assured and have more synergistic relationships with one another.