Flashdance
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“A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue but the parent of all other virtues”. Marcus Tullius Cicero |
When the movie Flashdance was released, with its hit song "Feelings", it left people thinking about and discussing all aspects of freedom of expression, healthy differences and how people process emotion.
This article may make you feel slightly uneasy as it asks something of you (remember, "life begins at the end of your comfort zone"). It asks that you be prepared to fully allow yourself to tap into, and acknowledge, how you truly feel.
With a host of things that will help us become “HEALthier”, this one is right up there. Our feelings are signals. It is our body’s way of helping us get information about our internal or external environment. Feelings, like most things, if left unchecked, can control us, and we can become an emotional wreck, or we can learn to read the signs and act on them before we get lost.
I fully believe, that if you allow yourself to truly feel and understand how to tap into the insight that your feelings offer, you will be more likely to reach your goals (not what you think is your goal but is actually somebody else’s), desires and feel fulfillment in your life easier than through just about any other method.
Somewhere along the line, many of us have shut down some or even most of our feelings and work on automatic pilot. This robs us of many opportunities and experiences.
So enough of the prelude, let's look at some of the benefits of paying attention every day to feelings:
1. Gain Perspective. When we listen to our feelings, we gain perspective on what is important to us and what activities we want to embark on, and what we would do well to avoid. Think about it, some of us create our own natural highs, by fuelling the things that drive us, and some of us turn to things to distract us from feeling, as we find it all too hard, like eating, drinking, drugs, etc. These artificial means of enjoyment will not last, and in fact take us down a murky road of denial, which instead of releasing us will have the opposite effect. When you allow yourself to listen to your feelings, (although sometimes this can be tough), and act appropriately and consistently, ultimately you can create the life that is right for you.
2. Improved Energy. We can waste a lot of energy trying to block out the things that we don’t want to deal with. By listening to our feelings, allowing ourselves to “be in it” for long enough, and working through it, we can channel our energy into living in the present rather than trying to block out the past or being fearful of the future. When we live our lives with positive anticipation and spend time allowing ourselves to feel into how good things are, we boost our energy substantially. However, the opposite is also true. If we live day-by-day dreading having to get up and go to work, or trying to avoid certain circumstances without applying change to them, then our energy drains.
3. Working through fear. Stress is a naturally occurring thing in our body, and when in balance is good for us. It is simply a feeling that causes our body to ready itself for what it is facing. I.e. If we go to cross the road and someone comes tearing around the corner, stress will release adrenaline in our bodies, which will force us into action. In this case, to get out of the road of the car. If it wasn’t for stress, we would just stand there, and most likely become a hood ornament! So by allowing ourselves to feel into our feelings, it helps us to become aware of the things that we should avoid (alerts us to our dangers and things that drain us of time, money or energy, our three most precious resources). It is important to listen to the warning signs, but then make sure before reacting, that you have all the facts. When we act on feelings alone, we can often create fear that does not need to be there. I.e. When I see a spider, my emotions can tend to get carried away. I need to calm down and rationalise the situation, before getting caught up into my body’s reaction. It is good to note that we don’t feel fearful of something until we have made a decision that it is potentially bad. Here is the irony, we often create the fear that we then waste energy trying to avoid!
4. Seizing possibilities. By simply tapping into our feelings, we can see what is important to us, where we should be investing our time and have a less cluttered mind. When we invest in this important skill of listening to our feelings, the potential opportunities for us to open up. Rather than getting bogged down in what isn’t going right and becoming defeatist, by adopting a natural state of gratitude, it heightens our senses and we create good things for ourselves.
5. Be a scout, and be prepared. It is often our self-talk (conscious or otherwise) that tells us we are not prepared for something. How many things of goodness is this robbing us from? The opposite of feeling prepared and ready is of course to feel that we can’t achieve – something that restricts and wears us down. If we allow ourselves to tap into all our feelings, both high and low, we can often make a much freer, clearer decision, releasing us from being held back by indecision and fear.
By allowing yourself to feel, both bad and good, (although sometimes initially painful) you will work through your fears and hurts for a quicker recovery and tap into the things that energise you, generating a new lease of life in you.
On our website, we have given you tools for Journalling and Mind Mapping. These are two wonderful tools for exploring and expressing how you are feeling. If you haven’t given them a read, might I suggest making a nice cup of tea and making friends with them?
“Emotion denied,
is emotion deferred.”